A Day in the life of being unemployed

Day Five:

Yeah!! It is finally Friday! Wait…. Why should I care? Every day is the same. You don’t appreciate Friday any more when you are not working. Friday is not a day to look forward to when you are unemployed because it means the end of emails and phone calls with job offers. It means the dreaded long weekend. With these feelings also comes the feeling of anticipation of Monday. A bit backwards you may think. Monday is the start of a new week, a new beginning. Maybe I will get a job offer. Maybe I will get a call for an interview. I mean, it has been five days….. I am getting a bit impatient.

A Day in the life of being unemployed

Day Four:

    Boy, it sure has been a long week. It is only Thursday.  Money… it is always about money. I was struggling when I was working and this is just unbearable. I never thought I would wonder how I was going to pay for toilet paper. It is the little things we take for granted. Being unemployed gives you a different outlook on life. It really makes you appreciate the little things. I am thankful for my family and a close friend that has helped me so far. I truly think that without them I would be in a worse position than I am now. But I have realized that their help will not come every month.

    I am officially in the “scared” phase. I know it has only been a few day, but I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel just yet. I am still applying for jobs and networking with people. I have had a few job offers but the locations are very far, not far enough to move but too far to drive.

                 As my bank account dwindles, so does my faith.

A Day in the life of being unemployed

 

 

Day three:

It is now Wednesday…… I think. Who knows anymore. I’m thankful my son is still in school to help me keep track of what day it is. I managed to get out of the “feeling sorry for myself” phase. I quick slap to my own face took care of that. I had my good cry and now it is time to concentrate on my life and what the heck I am supposed to do with it. I am 49…. No spring chicken here.  I could return to school. I did start a Medical Transcription & Editing online course. However, because I did not have enough time to complete the work I received a failing grade which resulted in my financial aid being terminated. Oh joy, why could I not have gotten fired when I was still enrolled? I find myself with a TON of time now. In order to finish, I would have to pay out of pocket for this semester. Yeah, I have six-hundred dollars lying around. I am kicking myself in the ass for this mistake. How l would love to finish this course. My plans were to finish this then proceed to take the Medical Billing & Coding course. I have realized that I am not one to work for someone else. With training in both of these careers, I could have worked from home. I hate the office politics. I think that is what makes going to work so miserable.

So, as I contemplate my future, I am trying to explore all avenues. Maybe a different career? Move out of state? I am not sure what to do, but I need to do something fast.

 

A day in the life of unemployment

Day Two:

It is now day two. It feels like day 100. I woke up this morning full of energy. I thought to myself, “This is going to be a great day!” I was definitely trying to see the positive in this horrible time in my life. I updated my resume and logged onto every job site located on the Internet. As I was searching, I found myself looking for jobs out of state. Why not? I have nothing left here. I would miss my mom terribly, but other than that, there was nothing here for me.  

Soon, my energy level was depleted. I realized that I was in the “I don’t care” phase. Not a good phase to be in. I tried to do things around the house. I thought if I organized my house the other aspects of my life would immediately be organized as well. Then I realized it does not work that way. Needless to say, my house is still in disarray. There is nothing worse than walking around the house aimlessly with your head in a jumble. Many thoughts were going through my head. How am I going to pay my rent? How am I going to feed my kids? What about insurance? Oh yeah, and the one that is weighing the hardest on my mind is Christmas. Then the tears came. Tons of tears. It would not stop. It was like someone turned on the faucet in my head. I spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself.

A Day in the life of being unemployed

They say you go through many stages when you are fired or laid off. I agree with some of them. However, I don’t agree with the time spent on each stage. We are all different and we deal with things very differently.

Day One:

It is funny how “what a difference a day makes” rings true. I thought my Monday was like any other Monday. You know, horrible as usual.  Boy, I was not prepared for how horrible it became. After I was told I was laid off, confusion set in immediately. You wonder, “Did I just hear what I think I heard?” After the initial cloud clears and you realize that what you heard was correct, the confusion still lingers but is overpowered by anger immediately. Anger that festers as the supervisor is hovering over you while you clean out your desk. God forbid I take the stapler.  

After I gathered my things, I left. It was difficult driving home trying to focus through the tears of sadness, anger, and joy. Joy you ask? Yes, I really did not like my job. In fact, I really don’t like the field I am in. But that is beside the point; I wouldn’t have left this job if I did not have a new one lined up.

Thankfully, I made it home. I immediately applied for unemployment and whatever benefits I could. I knew I would need as much help as possible as I was still not receiving child support. This is going to be tough………

 

Not just your average Monday

 

          Monday morning I walked into work. It was just like any other Monday, but this particular Monday I was feeling pretty good. Christmas was coming up. Although my daughter would not be here for Christmas, I was somewhat looking forward to it. Money is always a problem and I always struggle at this time of year, always wondering where I am going to get money to buy gifts for my kids and my family. As I look back over the years, it has always worked out. But this Monday sure tested my faith.

As I was waiting for my computer to boot up, I walked to the printer to get my work. On my way to the printer I said my “Hi’s” to all the girls in the office. As I turned to go back to my desk, my manager and a supervisor from the corporate office wanted to talk to me in the conference room. As soon as he said “This is going to be difficult to say”, I knew what was coming. What I did not expect were the lies. When someone lies, they think you are stupid enough to believe them. I think that upsets me more than the lie itself.

How do I know they were lies? Maybe it was the way he was sweating bullets when he told me it was because of my write-ups. The last one was back in June. Maybe it was the way he was shaking like he was in the middle of a seizure when he told me the customer was requesting a “Personnel change”, or maybe it was the way neither one of them could look me in the face. I had no idea this was coming. I never called in sick, and when I was sick I would work from home. All my days off were scheduled days off. I even had left over vacation time and personal time that I was told to use by the end of the year. I always asked if anyone needed help. I also asked for additional training on different things, but everyone was too busy to train me. I am not saying I was a perfect employee. No one is. We all make mistakes. But this was unacceptable. More unacceptable was the fact that they could not wait until after the Holiday’s.

 

So, here I am again. Facing unemployment. This is how it is in transportation….. time to find a new career.

 

 

                 The Holidays     

 

Ah, the holidays are upon us. It only seems like yesterday I was lying beside the pool watching my son swim. This is the time of year that I dread.  Only recently have I started feeling this way. I remember past holidays being a wonderful and fulfilling time with my family. As a kid, I looked forward to this time of year. I loved going shopping and trying to find that perfect gift for someone. Whether it was for my parents or sisters, I put in a lot of effort and thought into finding that perfect gift. There is nothing more pleasing than watching someone open a gift from you and it is something they really wanted.

When I was married and my children were younger, it was a stressful but great time of year. Between deciding whose house we were going to on which day, Christmas Day or Christmas Eve, and having enough money to spend on our kids and family. Things were always tight. But, we managed and did the best we could. Everyone seemed to be happy and not too concerned with what they received, they were just happy to be together as a family. I cherish those days. When I look back at that time, it brings a smile to my face a warms my heart.

Well, the last six years has been a lot different than when I was a kid or when I was married. There are no in-laws to go to and the kids have grown. Their interest in Christmas is not the same as it was when they were little. Gone are the toys and coloring books. Gone is the sparkle in their eyes when they see the tree all lit up with presents underneath on Christmas morning.  Gone is my whole family together on Christmas morning. Gone is my desire to enjoy the holiday season. As my family drifts apart and each one starts to have their own life, I find myself alone at times. Sometimes I cherish my alone time. But other times, I wish I had someone to share these holidays with. I know that someday there will be someone special in my life besides my kids, and I will just wait patiently for him to arrive…… maybe he will be under the Christmas tree one year.