Confusion

Seems as though the emotion for me for lately has been confusion. Someone once told me that I think too much. Is that possible?

If a situation arises, I usually try to dissect it, see if there is a way I can improve it. Make it better. Instead I should just go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may and learn from that situation whether it is a good outcome or bad. I am somewhat of a control freak, so I try to control every aspect of my life. I am afraid to fail so I try my best to prevent that.


I usually am a good judge of character, but lately I have really missed the mark. I tend to be big-hearted and generous with my feelings, and this time I think I have learned my lesson. I keep saying my “wall” will stay up. I am afraid to get hurt. I know this is not good, to keep this wall up, but I think it is permanently up for good. I let it down recently and it was just as I expected. I am hurt and disappointed. It very well may have been my fault. I guess I expected things I should not have expected. Silly me.


I try to be understanding, empathetic, and a good listener. But lately I have been feeling like I am not getting the respect or attention I deserve. I think it may be a timing issue. I am ready for all that life has to offer with someone, and that person just does not seem to exist. I guess I have to be patient. I have been patient for over two years now.