Survival Mode

   

    I have officially entered what some people call "Survival Mode." I always thought this pertained to animals, not humans, but I guess we all enter that mode when things get tough and we need to stay tough to get through these times. I have been called a strong woman many times. If I look back at the past few years of my life, I do not consider myself strong, just a survior. We all have bad times in our life. Some of us just know how to handle things better than others. I think that years of challenges has made me a better woman and maybe stronger. I am able to deal with what comes at me with style and grace.
   I can only hope that with all the challenges that I have endured over the years, that I will become a better and stonger person for me, and my kids. I am also hoping that my kids will learn from what has happened to me and apply that to their own struggles in life now and as they become adults. That would be the biggest compliment a parent can get. Of couse, I wish the best for my kids and a lifetime of happiness!

   I welcome your comments on your definition of "survival mode."

School Days

Today was the first day I drove my son to school. He attends half-day kindergarten and he usually takes the bus. I enjoyed the short time we had together this morning. I made a big breakfast and we talked about silly things while we ate. I am usually at work, but today I was not feeling well, so I stayed home. I was not aware of any of the "rules" that are in place to drop off or pick up your kids so I just "winged" it. I am proud to say, that since I watched Mr. Mom, I knew exactly what and what not to do. This may sound like a small milestone to some of you who do this on a daily basis, but we all have to start small, right? I just wish I could do this everyday.

To my very own Superman

What does sex crazy mean??

Sex crazy. Is there such a term? Let's break this term up in two. Sex is a beautiful wonderful thing two people in love share. Crazy is a term used to describe a person who is not playing with a full deck, so to say. I am finding it hard that some people put these two words together to describe someone in that way. Is a person sex crazy because they think about sex all the time? Or are they sex crazy because they have sex all the time? Inquiring minds want to know. So do I.

Moving Out and Moving On

The time has come. The time that I never thought would come. My kids and I will be moving out of our home. The home that I thought would be a new start is now the home of memories best forgotten. I knew this time would come eventually, and I really wanted to believe it would not. I am looking forward to this move. I am looking forward to a new place, fresh start, and a new chapter in my life.

I am also a little frightened about what the future holds for me. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to see what is in store for me. But then again, I love the element of surprise. So......on to the next phase of my life! Let the adventure begin!

The Games People Play

Games. We all play them. As kids we played them, and as adults we play them with our kids or with our friends. Board games is what I mean. We also play other games. Mind games. Adults are usually the ones that have mastered this. Years of practice I guess. I think that playing games with one another in a relationship is immature. Especially when we get older. I feel that each person needs to be straightforward and honest. If you are straightforward and honest with your feelings, then there is no room for games. I personally do not have time for games. I have a lot going on in my life to be wondering or guessing about someones feelings or agendas. Just be straightforward and honest with me. I am a big girl, I can take honesty. Is that so much to ask for?

Silence is NOT golden

I do not believe silence is golden. Well, not all the time. In relationships, silence CAN be golden. When there is an argument going on, sometimes it is better to just close your mouth, even if you are right. Relationships are a "give and take." In other aspects of the relationship, silence is a relationship "breaker." Communication is the key to a successful relationship. It ranks right there with trust. How can you love someone if you do not trust them, and how can you trust them if there is no communication? Men and women are not mind readers. We do not know what each other wants or is thinking. Sure, sometimes if we know one another very well, we can figure out what is going on, but in the start of a relationship, you must talk openly to one another. It is really frustrating to try and guess what the other one wants or is needing. I myself can admit that I am not a really good communicator. That is something I need to work on.

To throw out or not to throw out? That is the question.

   Divorce has been final since June 2nd of last year. I have decided to move out of the house. Not only is it too big, but it is too much for me to deal with. Along with memories I would rather forget, it is too expensive to manage alone. I would rather have a smaller, cozier home. I am really looking forward to this move. I think it is just what I need. A change. A change for the good. My question is, what do I do with all "his" crap? I absoulely love to throw things away. But it seems when I do, not too long afterwards I am wondering where they are. I am a big believer on donating things. I would rather donate than sell. I feel that someone out there is worse off than I am, God forbid, and could use what I have and do not need. I have endless supplies of nails, screws, wires, and other "man" crap. How many scewdrivers does one need? I have decided to get rid of all his stuff. I know I will not be looking for a spare wire anytime down the road. Good riddence!

Patience......Is it a virtue?

    This picture really says it all. Patience is a tricky thing really. Most of us know what we want, and most of us want it right away. We do not want to wait, but we all know "Patience is a virture", "Good things come to those who wait", and all those other sayings. But how true is that? I consider myself a very patient person. With three kids, heck, I HAVE to have patience. But with other things, patience can be a challenge for me. If you are patient for what you want, does that mean you will actually get what you want in time? Or, like the picture implies, are you patient and waiting for something that will NEVER happen? Let's say that you have strong feelings for someone. You do not want to rush that relationship and scare that person off or feel like an ass, so you become "patient." You wait and see where that relationship is going, and soon you realize that it may be going no where? What do you do? Do you end the relationship because you feel you have waited long enough, or do you continue to wait and hope that you made the right decision?

First Kiss

   

     I had a very interesting conversation with my son yesterday. Let me first say that he is six years old. We were doing our usual routine, cozying on the couch, talking about how our day went. He told me he has a girlfriend. Her name is Angel. I proceeded to ask many questions, as any parent would. He told me she has dark brown hair, blue eyes, and her hair is medium length. He also told me that he is not the only one who likes her. Competition at six years old can be tough for the self-esteem. LOL. He also told me he kissed her while they were on the bus. He said it lasted about a hundred-million minutes! Wow. He said that she follows him around the classroom all the time. Now, when it is time to go to school, I do not have to struggle in the morning to get him up! Thanks Angel!

What is the definition of single?

I have been asked what the question of "single" is on many occasions. Are you single if you are dating someone? Here is the official definition of single:



Not accompanied by another or others; solitary.
Consisting of one part, aspect, or section: a single thickness; a single serving.
Having the same application for all; uniform: a single moral code for all.
Consisting of one in number: She had but a single thought, which was to escape.
Not divided; unbroken: a single slab of ice.
Separate from others; individual and distinct: Every single child will receive a gift.
Having individual opponents; involving two individuals only: single combat.
Honest; undisguised: a single adoration.
Wholly attentive: You must judge the contest with a single eye.
Designed to accommodate one person: a single bed.
Unmarried.
Lacking a partner: a single parent.
Relating to the unmarried state: enjoys the single life.
Of or relating to celibacy.


Ok then. According to the information above, I guesss I am NOT single for the fact that I am dating someone. There is a lot more to my relationship that I am in, but too private to discuss here. But, it also states "Unmarried." I am not married. But then again, I am a single parent. A little of a contridiction here? Maybe. You decide. I think many of us call ourselves "single" when things are going bad in a relationship or if the relationship hits a snag, and then "attached" when things in regards to the relationship are going well. Hmmm, maybe that is not a good relationship to be in if you think that sometimes. A healty relationship should not be like that. That said, I am glad I am in a relationship and I consider myself a very lucky girl. A very lucky "not-single" girl.

Top 10 Dating TipsDating Tips and Advice for Singles

After doing some extensive research on dating and what not to do versus what to do, this article was interesting to me. I hope it help you.



Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:

Top 10 Dating Tips

1. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.

2. Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.

3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.

4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.

8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

10. Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.

"The Man"

I have always believed that men are very different from women in many ways. Not only are we built differently, look different, but we think about things in a VERY different way. Most women want someone that cares, pays attention to her, listens to her, loves her, and does things for her without her needing to ask. Most men do not care about those such things. It is not that they do not care, it is just how they are, and I do not think they know how to do those things naturally. I think men were brought up to believe that "feelings" make them a wimp and they should surpress them. Us women have to make sure we do not take this personally. But, it is very hard for us to NOT take it personally, because we need constant assurance that we are loved and we are the only one in their eyes. I know some of you are saying, "I am not like that." If you are saying that, then you are lying to yourself, because deep down, that is what you want and need. I think all of us, human beings, need this whether we are men or women. That being said, "Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus." Bradley Cooper, well I am sure he can do no wrong.

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of finding the man of my dreams. One that would make me feel safe, secure, laugh at my jokes and make me laugh as well. I also looked for honesty, respect, and happiness. Someone to grow old with. What I failed to realize is that marriage is very hard work. If two people do not consistently work on their relationship, married or not, it will most likely fail. Sometimes we get so caught up in the kids, our jobs, and everyday life, that we forget about our needs as well as our partners needs. I am not just talking about sex and intimacy. We were never taught to listen and be attentive to our partners until it is too late. We forget to say "I love you", we forget to look each other in the eyes and give our utmost attention to the one that is supposed to be our partner for life. I know that when I fall in love again, I will make a conscience effort to do things differently. That said....... I wish everyone romance and love for the new year.

First Day of the New Year

I hope everyone had a safe and joyous New Year! Mine was absolutely wonderful. Even though my children were with their father in another state, I still managed to have a wonderful time. I will not share exactly what I did, but lets just say, it was spent with a wonderful, caring, generous, gorgeous man.