Dating

Dating at this age is a real challenge. There are different obstacles that you come across. Nowadays, there is an ex involved. An ex spouse is usually more difficult than an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. That may not be a pleasant obstacle to overcome. It all depends on how long the person has been divorced to know what kind of obstacles you will endure. If someone is recently divorced, those feelings one experiences during a divorce are still very fresh. There are still unresolved feelings and jealously may be a factor. They may also still have feelings for him or her as well. You really can’t compete with that. Going through a divorce makes you experience feelings you never knew you had. Rejection, sadness, hurt, and anger are only some of the feelings. If a person has been divorced for quite a while those feeling diminish. They don’t completely go away, they never do. They are just hidden in the background of life.

I think that kids are another obstacle to overcome. At this age when you are dating, more than likely the one you are dating will have kids as well as you. This is a tough thing to manage, especially if they are still young. You don’t want to bring someone into his or her life that your not sure is going to stay in it for a while. They just experienced loss and you don’t want them to get attached to your new “friend” if it is not going to work out. They don’t need to experience loss again so soon. They also need you at this time. They need to know that they are still loved and that you will be there for them no matter what.

Sometimes I wonder why that person got divorced. Was it something they did? Did they cheat? If they did, will they always be a cheater? Was he an abuser? There are so many different factors to take into consideration it is mind-boggling. I am sure they wonder the same thing of me.


This is so different than 25 years ago. It seems that the “rules” have changed but the “games” are still the same. In today’s world, there is Internet, text messages, and instant messaging. You can get to know someone so many different ways before you actually meet him or her. I myself don’t care for Internet dating. I have been on Plenty of Fish for a while and it feels as though I am “shopping” for a man. After being on there I have decided that Internet dating is just not for me. It seems kind of desperate if you ask me. I think in order to find someone that is right for you; you should not resort to Internet dating. It will happen on its own and happen naturally. When you find that “someone” you will know. I am confident that I will find my prince charming when I least expect it. So far I have not found him. I do realize that if I am going to date, I need to make sure that person has been divorced for quite some time.


Back when we were younger, dating was fun. There was meeting someone for the first time. The electric feeling you get when you get and give that first kiss. The queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. The anticipation of seeing that person and knowing they are feeling the same. I am looking forward to that feeling again. It’s been a while since I felt that and it is such a good feeling.